I have spent an inordinate amount of my life watching several hundreds of horror movies over the years and decades. So I thought it would be helpful to pass along my top 40 favourite horror movies of 2010-2019, which I will describe to you in one-sentence reviews.
40. Krampus (2015)
Proof that all you need to know that a horror movie is going to be worthwhile to watch is if it has Toni Collette.
39. Oculus (2014)
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, what are you going to make someone do with a light bulb?
38. Under the Skin (2014)
An alien Scarlett Johansson stalks Scottish men from her serial killer van in this sleek, sexy, surreal and creepy thriller that sometimes looks like it takes place in ‘the upside down’ from Stranger Things.
37. The Final Girls (2015)
A girl and her friends get magically sucked into into an 80s summer camp slasher movie starring the main girl’s deceased mother in this cute, fun, charming and oddly touching meta comedy horror.
36. Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)
No, this isn’t 2014’s Ouija, this movie is actually creepy and enjoyable.
35. Terrified (2018)
If you’re looking for something without much story or character development, but just want to be creeped out and made to jump from start to finish, this Argentine supernatural flick is for you.
34. The Loved Ones (2010)
Dealing with love and rejection as a teenager is tough, especially when you’re a complete psychopath with daddy issues.
33. Housebound (2014)
Lockdowns have been tough on everyone, but just be glad you weren’t in the house featured in this creepy Kiwi comedy horror.
32. The Invitation (2016)
This is why you don’t mix friend groups for a dinner party.
31. Crawl (2019)
Reason 1,766 to not live in Florida: being trapped in alligator-infested basements during a hurricane.
30. Doctor Sleep (2019)
The creepy Redrum Shining kid is all grown up and has become Ewen McGregor, who now has to use his gift to help track down a group of soul-sucking child killers.
29. The House That Jack Built (2018)
The always haunting Lars von Trier brings you a deep dive into the disturbing (and sometimes funny) mind of a serial killer played by Matt Dillon telling stories of his ‘greatest hits.’
28. What We Do in the Shadows (2015)
Mockumentary about vampire roommates that includes an explanation as to why vampires prefer the blood of virgins with the line, “If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.”
27. The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
This is like The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018) but if it was much better and also had Brian Cox.
26. The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
If you ever wondered what Evil Dead would have been like if it was a meta, choose-your-own-adventure comedy with Thor himself, wonder no more!
25. Attack the Block (2011)
This is what Vampires vs. the Bronx aspired to be, but British and with aliens (and John Boyega).
24. Dark Skies (2013)
Felicity‘s Keri Russell and her family find themselves the target of repeated home invasions, but from aliens.
23. The Conjuring 2 (2016)
Two religious zealots help a British family deal with a haunting in the 1970s.
22. Don’t Breathe (2016)
Don’t be ableist: a blind man can be a most effective and creepy psychopath, especially when you break into his house to steal shit and then get trapped inside.
21. Halloween (2018)
Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Myers, 40 years later: What the fuck are you waiting for?
20. Insidious (2011)
A family is tormented by a demon from another realm, but then the worst part is that the other realm is called ‘The Further’.
19. Sinister (2012)
It’s like Insidious, but released a year later, and also has Ethan Hawke.
18. The Lighthouse (2019)
If David Lynch directed The Shape of Water.
17. Tigers Are Not Afraid (2019)
A heavy-hearted ghost story following a group of children orphaned by the Mexican drug war (I have no quip about this one, it’s just lovely, go watch it).
16. You’re Next (2013)
A group of masked killers attempt to slaughter an entire family and their guests, but they didn’t expect to come across the greatest foe they could have ever imagined, and her name is Erin, and she has a bachelor’s degree in kicking ass.
15. Evil Dead (2013)
In a time of terrible, pointless, and perplexing horror movie remakes and re-imaginings (Poltergeist, any attempt at Black Christmas), why not enjoy a bloody disgusting, horrifying, creepy jumping remake done right?
14. Train to Busan (2016)
Korean zombie action horror comedy thriller family film that takes place on a train… to Busan.
13. Under the Shadow (2016)
If The Babadook took place in Iran in the late 80s, and with a less annoying child.
12. Us (2019)
Jordan Peele presents a family movie about holding hands, talking funny, and being super fucking creepy (and stabby).
11. Suspiria (2018)
A 1970s German dance school run by witches with Tilda Swinton, Tilda Swinton, Tilda Swinton, and also Tilda Swinton.
10. Get Out (2017)
If Karens knew hypnosis.
9. The Babadook (2014)
It’s creepy, scary, jumpy, loud and horrifying; but enough about the kid in this movie, it also has a demonic entity eponymously named for the film.
8. It Follows (2015)
The worst kind of supernatural STI.
7. I Saw the Devil (2010)
I yelled at my TV a lot while watching this hyper-violent Korean movie about a former Secret Service agent who hunts down and periodically tortures a sadistic serial killer.
6. The Conjuring (2013)
Two religious zealots help a family with seemingly 83 daughters deal with a demonic house in the 1970s.
5. A Quiet Place (2018)
Shhhhhhut the fuck up, I’m trying to watch this movie about aliens that really hate it when people don’t shut the fuck up.
4. The Wailing (2016)
If a Korean version of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fucked The Exorcist.
3. Midsommar (2019)
Yet another reason why I don’t trust Sweden’s Coronavirus response.
2. Hereditary (2018)
Let’s all just sit back and watch deep trauma unfold and get traumatized in the process, but with Toni Collette!
1. The Witch (2016)
When religion is this extreme and life this perilous, sign me up to ‘live deliciously’.
If you’d like to tell me what I got wrong or what I got right, feel free to go start your own blog and post a list there. This is my list.
Otherwise, if you want your own favourite movies (that I missed) to get a one-sentence review, post below and I’ll try to have an answer for every one (that I’ve seen).